These are a few of my favorite scenes….

“Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.”

“A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.”

     I love the complexity of the relationship between Batman and Catwoman, Bruce and Selina. It’s a small part of the film, but easily the best part. Batman is drawn to Catwoman and not just because of her tight shiny leather suit. He is intrigued by the absence of any moral anchor in her behavior. Michael Keaton’s Batman is firmly, resolutely on the side of goodness and justice. He is a fettered contrast to Catwoman’s unfettered self-interest. But more than anything, he feels a kinship, a connection with another person who keenly feels the division of self. Unlike Catwoman, Batman is able to keep the two distinct personalities within him separate. Perhaps because he chose to be both personalities.

     Catwoman didn’t have that choice. Michelle Pfeiffer creates a character that transforms from powerless to powerful, but in the transformation, she loses herself. She is essentially stuck between female stereotypes. As Selina Kyle, she can be sweet, nurturing and supportive, but must deny her ambition and intelligence. As Catwoman, she can be strong, brave and assertive, but must abandon her desire to please and longing for love. Pulled between these two dualities, we watch as Catwoman struggles against madness. The only person who can even begin to understand her situation is Batman/Bruce Wayne. He too wears a mask and although he isn’t descending into insanity, he is tired of hiding his other half.

     The first time they exchange words about mistletoe and kisses, they are fighting as Catwoman and Batman. The next time, they are dancing as Selina and Bruce. Selina asks, “Does this mean we have to start fighting?” Bruce pulls her close. They are the same. Two divided souls, looking for someone who can connect with both of their halves.

     We never get to see if they could have made it work. Bruce risks exposure in the end, removing his mask, but Selina is too far gone. She can’t go back to what she was before and she can’t face the weakness that love and trust would require. As she dies in a great show of sparks, the pain of regret is clearly visible on Bruce’s face. He looks for her body, but it isn’t there. The movie makes it clear that he hopes she is still alive somewhere.

     The last words of the film are tragic, but hopeful. ”And good will to all men - and women.”

How long have I been writing?

     Catherine Morris (see blogroll) wrote about this topic after being prodded by another blogger. I’ve heard plenty of writers say they’ve always been writers. Many wrote stories before they were able to write. Catherine had her mother write her stories until she learned to hold a pencil. I’ve heard writers say they wrote full adventures for their barbies.

     I can’t really remember doing much writing at all unless it was required for school. I tried writing journals, but never stuck with it. I’m essentially very lazy. Besides, I was always embarrassed by how self-absorbed I sounded in those entries. I remember having a great time with the creative writing assignments in English. My favorite assignment was to write To Kill A Mockingbird from one of the minor character’s perspective. I think my paper was 23 pages long.

     Although I led a rich fantasy life in my head, I never wrote anything down. I just wanted to spin a story in my head until I got bored and then move on to the next one.

     Then I read a statistic about the number of romance books sold. Wow! That many? Heck, I had always read romance and I liked to spin stories in my head…. I figured I could write a romance novel. No problem. That was sometime in 1994/95. Writing a book isn’t quite as easy as I thought. At least not for me.

     How long have I been writing? On paper - I started writing toward publication in 2003. And as Lexi (see blogroll) recently pointed out to me, I can’t sell a book that’s only in my head so I guess all the long-forgotten stories floating around in my squishy gray matter don’t count. Besides, I was almost always the heroine in those stories…. smart, funny, decisive, brave, beautiful, just, understanding, loving, blah, blah, blah. No wonder I got bored with those stories. I was perfect….

Five Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Both Sherry and Crystal have done this post and challenged others to do the same. So, here goes.

1. I work in a liquor store, but don’t drink much. I’m also not a recovering alcoholic or tea-totaler. Moderation in all things. It isn’t a concept I cling to because I need it. I don’t swing wildly to the extremes of anything. It’s a concept I accept because it’s simple, it’s me, and I’m lazy. I want something easy to follow.

2. Some of my most traumatic childhood memories involve being forced to go to bed BEFORE the end of a movie or book. The book part wasn’t too difficult. There was enough light shining under the crack of the bedroom door from the hallway that I could still read if I tipped the book to catch the rays. But going to bed and missing the end of a movie… I was devastated. (I’m sure that living my entire life in the realm of fiction is not good for me, but it feels so good!)

3. I love tragedy. That’s not new. I wrote a whole post on it. What’s new? I love the old black and white Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was on TV one year for New Years (I think.) I was about seven or eight years old and my parents had people over to the house. I got to stay up really, really late and watch that film. I was ripped up inside. It was nothing like the fairy tales I had read up until that point. So dark. When the wind blows over his desolate grave…. I still have the image etched in my mind. Heart-breakingly bitter-sweetly beautiful. (I also watched The Wizard of Oz that year at my mother’s request. Boring. Tedious. It has no soul. I think there’s something wrong with me.)

4. I want to write. I know some writers who NEED to write. They need the outlet or they’ll go mad. I just want to write a great story that will mean something to someone…. and be so good it’s made into a film. And I want to be there to see the actors act and the props guys prop and the director direct. Yes, I know the actual work of making a film is not romantic, but I so want to see it. Hell, I may stay through the entire eight months of filming and become some sort of fixture. I’ll be an extra. (I think this is called minor meglomania.)

5. I am a junk food junkie. I’m embarrassed by my lack of good taste when it comes to food. I am much happier with a bag of cookies than a tender, juicy filet mignon. Oysters and mushrooms? I’d rather be beaten with a very large block of wood or thrown off a tall building. I know it’s not good for me. It’s not healthy. And it’s the one area of my life where I really have to fight not to overdue it. All things in moderation, remember?

 6. Okay, there were only supposed to be five, I know. But I just saw Ultimate Fighting the other day. I hate it. HATE IT!

How to write a book….

     Hopefully, you’re not here looking for answers. I don’t have any. There may be as many ways to write a book as there are writers. I once thought I’d tried them all…. both the flying by the seat of the pants method and the scrupulously planned method. These methods are pretty transparent. The pants method involves having a great premise and then sitting down and writing. Or maybe thinking of a fabulous heroine and then sitting down and writing. Or building a world and then sitting down and writing. You get the picture. The well-planned method usually includes an outline, character background sketches, goal/motivation/conflict charts and specifics on character development and critical turning points.

     Then I was introduced to the scene-by-scene method. As each scene comes to mind, it’s written down and later put into order and fleshed out. The scene gets written while the writer is excited about it, not when the story finally catches up to the scene. There is also a synopsis method which is simply writing a lengthy synopsis and then fleshing it out. The synopsis can be as long as half the final book length. This ensures a good, solid story before any time is wasted on the small stuff. It’s a good method for writers who LOVE revision, because the synopsis is like a really short rough draft.

     These methods didn’t surprise me nearly as much as the dialogue method. Write the whole book of dialogue. Fill in the descriptions and transitions later. Don’t include anything but the conversations between the characters. In genre fiction, especially romance, dialogue is the key to believable and sympathetic characters. This is a great method for writers who either love dialogue and WANT to concentrate on it or writers who hate dialogue and NEED to concentrate on it.

     And there’s more. Try to write only the scenes that are true turning points. The focus of your book will remain true to these turning points. Fill in plot and character development from there. How about writing backward? You want a big finish so start there and work backward.

     Three years and umpteen Romance Writers of America meetings later and I’m starting to get it. WRITE HOWEVER YOU CAN, WHENEVER YOU CAN. For a great blow-by-blow of these ongoing conflicts, check out Lexi Connor’s blog (from the blogroll) and see just how insane this writing gig can make you feel. (Hopefully no offense taken, Lexi.)

     I know only a few people have even looked in on my lowly, humble blog, but I’d actually love to hear about your favorite or most successful or most consistent method. I think being willing to take a risk and write a different way is a better cure for writer’s block than all the creativity exercises in the world. Thanks for stopping by….

What I learned from Dark Angel: aka Inner and Outer Conflict

     I just watched the Dark Angel series on DVD. The relationship between the two main characters in the first season is fantastic. It sparks from the beginning, but keeps the characters apart despite their blossoming feelings.

     When they first meet, Max is sassy, defensive and tough. Logan is confident, curious and in charge. Both characters have a secret identity, but Max has hidden hers from everyone around her. One of her ex-boyfriends shows up and claims she is a female fogbank. Logan must keep his identity as a rebel underground cyber-journalist secret, but he allows others into that world. In fact, he needs others to accomplish his goals and he is willing to risk his identity and life in order to be the “only free voice left in this city.” Max’s goals are close, personal. She wants to find her “family.” Logan is out to save the world. The dynamic between these two vastly different goals resonates through the characters. Max begins to accept the nobility of a just cause and Logan embraces the importance of those around him, accepting that no matter how hard he works, the world will still be broken tomorrow.

     This outer conflict between their goals sets off sparks of chemistry and incites witty verbal jousts, but it is the inner conflict of the characters that makes us feel their pain and hope. Max’s conflict is clear. She is different and always will be. She will probably also be a fugitive for life. How could she ever lead a normal life? Everyone around her is a potential hostage. Letting someone into her life and heart means putting them at risk. She already feels partially responsible for Logan being in a wheelchair. How could she live with herself if he were killed?

     Besides, he could never understand what her life has been like, what kind of choices she’s had to make. If he knew the real Max, he probably wouldn’t love her anyway. This is why her outer conflict, finding her “family” is so important. It is the only place she will ever feel accepted and love. She feels her differentness, her position as outsider, very keenly. Most heroes do. At times, she clearly enjoys her genetically revved up superpowers, but generally she would love to be just a normal girl and not have the memory of her awful childhood. (I suppose we can kind of understand this, but when given an actual choice, all superheroes end up taking back their power, sometimes at great cost. Think of Superman. Buffy and Angel were both given a “choice” and the shows didn’t end with them living in a quiet little suburb somewhere.)

     Logan’s inner conflict is more interesting and complex. It’s easy to forget how strong and courageous he is. Logan’s almost too pretty with those blue eyes and soulful gaze. His concern for others feels more important than his desire for revenge against the corrupt people in power. He likes to follow the rules, but doesn’t lose sleep when Max goes a little too far in “taking care” of the bad guys.

     It’s also easy to think of Logan as just the brains behind the team. He’s got the computer and the connections to get the information. Max has the brawn. But it’s not that simple. Max is genetically enhanced, both in body and mind. She can beat Logan at chess. And Logan is not just the brain. He risks his life to defend the little guy and seek justice. In the pilot, he is shot, his spine damaged beyond repair, but he wasn’t weak or stupid. He had a gun in his hand and went down shooting. Even confined to a wheelchair, he is ready to wheel in, gun in hand. And he knows how to use it. He is a man with brains and heart and a kick-butt attitude, but he’s in a wheelchair.

     He feels this “deficiency” everytime he has to ask Max to do his legwork…and everytime he looks at her and admits his intense attraction to her. Why doesn’t he just tell her how he feels? Inner conflicts are rarely logical. They are usually based on fear and fear can be paralyzingly strong. So here is Logan - rich, great-looking, honorable, intelligent and funny, but he feels like he’s not all man. He is unworthy of a superwoman and he certainly doesn’t want her to take care of him.

     We, as viewers, know he’s worthy, more than worthy. And we know Logan is all man. We have hot, sweet fantasies about him to prove his worth. We tell him Max doesn’t care about his legs, but he won’t listen.

     Lovers can work together and compromise to resolve the outer conflict, but the inner conflict is a constant, silent battle. We want to help, but we know only the characters themselves can come to terms with their feelings.

     This inner conflict is key to keeping the lovers emotionally apart for the duration of the TV show, film or book. A good inner conflict draws us in. We want to help the characters see that love is more important than whatever feelings are convincing them to keep their distance. We know love will triumph in the end (if it’s a romance) and we want to be there when it does.